Everyday Shenanigans With Colorful Commentary

4/30/2005
Pizza Menu And The Amazing Sacrificial Ten Dollar Bill...
Yeah so...
A few weeks ago I bought a large pizza from a place that we always go to but I never ever have the number for...
So everytime I order I have to wait ten minutes which actually seems like an awkward twenty...
When I paid she gave me back a ten and I fold it into my back pocket and forget about it...
But this last time I wanted the phone number so I picked up their paper menu... which was all red...
dum dum dum...
And I fold it into my back pocket and forget about it...

Until... I do my laundry... yadda yadda yadda... when I pull out the clothes from the dryer...
I first see this crinkled up red paper mess and I think 'ruuh rowh'... everything is gonna to be pink...
Surprisingly... not one single article was any kinda shade of red or pink... not even one...
I thought that was really weird...

//Fast Forward//
I go into the city to see Lady K for her bithday and I parked my car into an underground parking garage and got a red ticket stub...
//Enters ironical//...
Yadda yadda yadda... I meet her and she asks where I parked and I duh forgot where... so I pull out the ticket and with it came the amazing sacrifical ten dollar bill...



We were all shocked initially... it looked like the ticket had totally changed it to red...
But like in a series of fantastic flashbacks, I remembered what had happened...
So I retold the pizza/laundry story to everyone... yadda yadda yadda...


//Current day//
Its been weeks and I still carry him around... still... in my wallet... never to be used... not thru any vending machine and not at any 7'ves and certainly not at last call... unwanted... imprisoned... in a billfold... forever...



The more I think about it... wow... this amazing sacrificial ten dollar bill took the brunt of the dye and save a whole load of laundry by sacrificing himself... in a way... dying as well... so sad... so brave... and now... disfigured... and unable to do his duty... or even fulfill his purpose....





And so... he is hereby immortalized within the open vastness of the great blogshere...





We commit this bill to the fold... with a watery eye... and a glad heart.






In a word... nosacrificeiseversmall...
///posted by the often humiliated but never decaffeinated X @ 4/30/2005
0 Fresh Colorful Commentaries...

4/29/2005
The Wasteland Is Just Around The Corner...
//Flazback//
All through High School... the bus would always drive thru 'The Stinky Crappy Cabbage Patch Farm' every day... and especially during fall and spring... the bus would suddenly smell like 'Buy one burrito get one free'... from that point on and then all the way to school... and that funk would just cling to ya like velcro...
//End flazback//


//Current Day//

So I drove by today and this is what I saw...




Yikes...

And the worst part is... I know what will happen next... uggh... be careful what you wish for...

In a word... whenyahchopoffadragonzheadsometimestwopopup...
///posted by the often humiliated but never decaffeinated X @ 4/29/2005
0 Fresh Colorful Commentaries...

4/28/2005
Roll On... Deep And Dark Blue Ocean... Roll...

Get Ready... Be Ready... Ready Already...

Roll on, deep and dark blue ocean, roll.
Ten thousand fleets sweep over thee in vain.
Man marks the earth with ruin... but his control stops with the shore....

Lord Byron 1788-1824, British Poet















All the pics were totally taken today... I KNOW... plus I caught the avant guard installation at the corner...

Yowzah!



In a word... whatwouldfreudsay...
///posted by the often humiliated but never decaffeinated X @ 4/28/2005
0 Fresh Colorful Commentaries...

4/27/2005
O.K. To Disconnect... O.K. To Disconnect... O.K. To Disconnect...
Oh no...


iPod... buddy?


You allright !?


Ya feellin' ok !?!


Buddy?... Buddy!



//Flazback//
For like the past two weeks my iPod has been connected thru The Firewire to My 'Puter and always says 'O.K. To Disconnect' while charging and I always thought that it is just a new function... untill today... when I realized that he does not show up in my iTunes when connected nor does he appear on my desktop...

iPod buddy.... ya okay... buddy?.. buddy!?.


Over and over... all he says it is 'O.K. To Disconnect... O.K. To Disconnect'...


Uggh...

So I tried to restart....









I erased all his memory.....



Oh.... oh no...





Please...




Don't leave me here... all alone... it's happened once before... I won't let it happen again... tell me what to do...
//Presses tear-trailed cheek to play button//





I can't...

I won't...


I will hold on to you with two strong hands as long as I can...

Please don't leave me...

It has always been you and me... for all these years...







Don't leave me...





Don't leave...




Come back to me....




I love you...





I love you so....



Please... don't go... I can't...




In a word... hopeisropewithoutanr...
///posted by the often humiliated but never decaffeinated X @ 4/27/2005
0 Fresh Colorful Commentaries...

4/26/2005
The Happy Slap and Copper Wire Number Nine...
I can not believe that this has become an actual problem...
In a nut shell... Welcome to the disturbing world of the "happy slappers" - a youth craze in which groups of teenagers armed with camera phones slap or mug unsuspecting children or passersby while capturing the attacks on 3g (3rd generation?) technology. Uggh. Slowly turning into anger. Grrrr.

And in less violent news...

Is this functional or fabulous?



In a word... artisdangerousfun...
///posted by the often humiliated but never decaffeinated X @ 4/26/2005
0 Fresh Colorful Commentaries...

4/25/2005
Rainy Drops And The Sun Shiny...
Yeah...
So today was one of those days where all day it was either really dark clouds or clear blue sky...

So it suddenly started to rain...
//the following is an account of what happened next...//






... and then it quickly cleared up...



//all photos were taken up thru mah windshield at like 45 miles per hour//


In a word...myfirstnameisnotwillardscott...
///posted by the often humiliated but never decaffeinated X @ 4/25/2005
0 Fresh Colorful Commentaries...

4/24/2005
The Zero Energy Bluze...
Uggh...

Zero energy...
All day today...
I did not even make a pot of coffee or lunch or phone calls or anything...
But I did watch the end of 28 days later and I hate myself for it...

Uggh...
I just sat and sat on the futon and watched hours and hours of nothing...

Sunday is proving to be the least productive part of my unproductive week...
And yes... I only saw two people in person again.... when I got mah-twelve-pack and then when I got the Big Bacon Classic Combo... Biggie Sized... with Dr. Pepper to drink...




And so my friend Tyler said 'This is your life... and it's ending... one minute at a time...'
So I said 'Hey... I feel crappy enough... don't... don't make it worse...'



In a word ...lazinessisnexttomotionless...
///posted by the often humiliated but never decaffeinated X @ 4/24/2005
0 Fresh Colorful Commentaries...

4/23/2005
You Disappoint Me... Maybe You're Better Off This Way...




May be I am...





...but I... now... know more than you will ever know...






Leaning over you here... cold and catatonic...
I catch a brief reflection of what you could and might have been...
It's your right.... and your ability....
To become... my perfect enemy...















In a word ...passive...
///posted by the often humiliated but never decaffeinated X @ 4/23/2005
0 Fresh Colorful Commentaries...

4/22/2005
Earth Day... Really?!?
Earth Day was really today... wierd...
Global Warming?
Deforestation?
Melting Polar Ice Caps?
Fossil Feuls?
Pollution?
I am more concerned that I have not taken down my decorations from December...
//current magazines utilized to illustrate the current time stamp... one for the ladies the other for the gents... you decide which for which//


Enjoi!

In a word.. itsnoteasybeinggreen...
///posted by the often humiliated but never decaffeinated X @ 4/22/2005
0 Fresh Colorful Commentaries...

4/21/2005
Less Than Nothing...


Ughh...


Ya know when ya work all the time and you wish that if ya had a day off you would use that day to totally get everything up and in order and start a new direction in life..
Well... today was suppose to be one of those days... unfortunately I got up at like 10 am but didn't really wake up untill like 12:30p.m.
I only had like 1 cup of coffee where I usually have like 3 or 4...
I had no breakfast or lunch and I was not even hungry...
I even took a nap from like 5 to 8 in front of the tv...
I even skipped dinner... so weird...
Plus I only made myself one drink that lasted from the beginning of Joey to the end of C.S.I....

Ughh... I did less than nothing today...

Nothing appealed to me... and this is not the first time that this has happened... I was off yesterday and I swore that I would get this show on the road... I was also off last Friday, and last Thursday and last Wednesday and the Thursday before that....
There's nothing like no work to make someone feel worthless and there is nothing like working at a job that 'is not for you' to actually make you feel like a somebody... a failure somebody but I guess a somebody nonetheless... weird...




And I guess that yesterday is really just a distant memory now... I wonder if I ever really felt that way or if I just wished that I did...






I hate this...







I hate feeling this way...









In a word... semiunemploymenttotallysux...
///posted by the often humiliated but never decaffeinated X @ 4/21/2005
0 Fresh Colorful Commentaries...

4/20/2005
Just One More Step On The Everyday...
The all day...
The everyday...
The mass production of your life... it is comfortable... it is familiar... it is everyday and all day...


Untill... one day...
It comes along and it is so totally different altogether... yet comfortable and familiar... but instead of the regular routine of work/dinner/t.v. ... something... something shaken/shook it up...

And at the end of the day you wished that every day from this day forward would be just like today...
...only same/different...











Yeah... so that is kinda just like what totally happend to me... today...





...ohyeah...





In a word... changeiskindakewl...
///posted by the often humiliated but never decaffeinated X @ 4/20/2005
0 Fresh Colorful Commentaries...

4/19/2005
This Is A Permanent Error...
Did you ever wonder what it would be like to pop a water balloon in space?


And Today's Weather...


So pretty...

And in other news...
Uggh...I keep getting this friggin' E-mail...

From: nobody@mail.ru
Date: Tue Apr 19, 2005 10:09:51 PM America/New_York


and that is it!
No message. No ads. No nuthin'.
And this was sent to me like 6 times within 8 hours today... and it has happened in the past... and when I send a reply that says 'STOP(exclamationpoint-with-a-48-point-font)'... like I just did... this always comes back ...

Subject: Mail delivery failed: returning message to sender
This message was created automatically by mail delivery software.
A message that you sent could not be delivered to one or more of its
recipients. This is a permanent error. The following address(es) failed:
nobody@mail.ru
user not found


Grrrr... and you all know my policy on spammers...

In a word... revengeisawarmemptybeercan...
///posted by the often humiliated but never decaffeinated X @ 4/19/2005
0 Fresh Colorful Commentaries...

4/18/2005
Signs That The End Is Near...
I saw all of this within like 20 minutes today... every road was a dead end... yet every dead end road led to the water... and so let the battle of the lucky vs. the cursed begin... ding ding...






What would Frewd do?


In a word... everyroaditurnontois...
///posted by the often humiliated but never decaffeinated X @ 4/18/2005
0 Fresh Colorful Commentaries...

4/17/2005
The Bridges Of 'Where Am I' County...









In a word... ificouldbeanywhere...
///posted by the often humiliated but never decaffeinated X @ 4/17/2005
0 Fresh Colorful Commentaries...

4/16/2005
Photo-Op-View-Topia...
Enjoi...









Breathe... breathe in the air...





In a word... bravenewworldunfurledbeneathaclearbluesky...
///posted by the often humiliated but never decaffeinated X @ 4/16/2005
0 Fresh Colorful Commentaries...

4/15/2005
Sprung And Running...
I started to wear shorts today...
And I will never ever stop...
Until the rain turns to snow...
And only then will acid wash meet sneaker tops...






Clap your hands if you believe!


In a word... desperatehouseflies...
///posted by the often humiliated but never decaffeinated X @ 4/15/2005
0 Fresh Colorful Commentaries...

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